You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize