Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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