Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
