the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
