Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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