Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
