i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
