I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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