This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
