You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
