you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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