I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize