it wasn't lemon gatorade
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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