Sacagawea was the original milf.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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