bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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