their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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