Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
