He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
