On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
