She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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