Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
