i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
