im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
