I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize