my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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