The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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