We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize