I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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