this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
