batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
