Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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