First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
