I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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