that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize