She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
