my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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