Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Jerry, you need to find god
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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