I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
