Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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