You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
