there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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