I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
