I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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