Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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