just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
