It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
