I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
