oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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