I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
