What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
