Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
