In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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