Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can't turn off my feet"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
