A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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