She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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