toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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