Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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