Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
