i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
