Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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