But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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