I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
