is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
