I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
