She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
