He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
