I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize