not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize